Saturday, March 19, 2005
started around 1 am ~~~
hmm .. cukup lama juga ya blog ini tidak terupdate .. 2 minggu lebih .. well what can i say ? i'm just so not in the mood of writing .. i'm even not in the good mood lately .. so sick of the world ..
anyway, i don't even know what to write this time ..
*thinking.. thinking.. thinking..*
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
continued around 8 am ~~~
and i've been thinking for all night until i got to sleep.. then i woke up this morning and i still have no idea what to write about (-_-)
hey .. friendster's got blog too .. cool ..
i set up one already hehehe.. that means now i have 2 blogs ? huehehe..
but of course this one's the main one ..
so, just if you have time, check both blogs ? =P
*siGh* okay .. it's been almost one hour i'm watching this monitor .. i can't tell a good story i guess this time ..
for what i feel lately , and right now , is still emptyness ..
mungkin kalau diliat, akhir2 ini aku jauh lebih happy dr bbrp minggu yll .. lebih plonk dr yang lalu .. i didn't cry either lately.. remembering two weeks ago, i cried everyday =D
but actually, i want to make a confession this time ..
although i had great times lately, with my friends of course .. i'm still lost ..
in the middle of this damn sucks world ..
i barely feel nothing ..
eventhough i did laugh sometimes .. enjoyed some events .. i dunno, it's just like that i was laughing only because something's funny or interesting , but inside, i feel nothing ..
i've become kinda
numb ..
i've become kinda
crazy ..
hahaha.. someone's got worried knowing that i can't cry anymore ..
she said that it's better to cry than to feel nothing .. 'cause when you're finally feeling nothing , that means you're actually crying in your heart .. but what makes you can't cry, is your heart's become cold, and she thinks it's not good ..
but yeah i do admit, now i'm kinda feeling that i've become numb ..
i'm just so sick of this world !!
i'm sick of this feeling that i can't get rid of !!
baca baca dari blog orang lain juga, yang aku ga kenal sih hehe.. banyak yang bilang,
semua itu ada waktunya .. ada alasannyatapi kapan ?
apa ?
aku ga tau ..
ada yang tau kah ?
Tuhan ? ya pasti kalian akan jawab seperti itu ..
tapi maaf, sebelomnya, kali ini aku ga mau dapat comment apapun ttg
God knows everything ..
am i now being atheist ?
hmm...
no no..
i'm still believing in God (^^)v
but just, i can't accept few things ..
pikiran bisa menerima kenyataan ..
tp hati belum tentu bisa ..harapan ? hmmm ... takdir ? errr ...
anyway, ada yang bisa membantu , apa arti dari 'wish' & 'hope' , and also 'destiny' & 'fate' ? and their differences also ...
write in the
comments box, okay ?
been thinking about those too lately .. i just don't know what they mean now ..
it seems that all things in this world are
fakeapa itu cinta ?
masih ada kah 'cinta selamanya' skrg ini ?
i find out, that now those things maybe have become nothing ..
or maybe, memang dr dulu itu semua nothing ?
ga tau de ..
geez, what am i typing about ? (~_~)
anyway ,
for right now , i don't believe in that 'L' thing again ..
some said,
love brings you happiness ..
does it ?
okay, someone told me, that it does bring you happiness, if it's given to the right person ? .. well yeah .. it maybe true ..
but WHO CAN DECIDE IF IT'S RIGHT OR NOT ?
a song said,
be true to yourself and follow your heartwell, i did ..
i did be true to myself and did follow my heart
but it led me to someone that i can't have ..
so ?
I CAN'T CONTROL WHAT I FEEL ..
emang perasaan bisa dikontrol ?
errr...
dunno ..
yang jelas sih, sekarang aku udah ga percaya apapun lagi ..
apa sih itu harapan ? cinta ? selamanya ?
orang itu dulu berkata, mencintaiku selamanya, dan harapan itu pasti selalu ada apabila ada niat ..
sekarang pun,
dia bisa kok nemuin orang untuk menggantikan ku
lalu apa nya yang cinta ?
katanya 'cinta itu gak akan terganti' ?
jadi ?
semua hanya mimpi .. ?
palsu ..
nCy.voiLa @ 9:27 am
|